Saturday, October 17, 2009

First Blood

I've stopped growing.  Not in the physical sense, but more in the way someone should as a natural consequnce of trying new things and meeting new people.  Sure, I just got married.  Sure, I bought my first house earlier this year.  Sure, I have a stable job.  BUT I dont feel passionate about anything.  Within the midst of all this apathy, I find myself having to deal with my stagnancy...alone.  Husband just left to be stationed for a year 13 hours away. 

So now- he has been gone for 6 days.  In that time, I feel like I have to relearn how to do things on my own again.  First time taking the trash out in over 3 years...gosh, that sounds more pathetic now that I see it on type than it did in my own head.  First time to use the steam mop and sweep my hardwood floors.  First time to cook exactly for one person.  First time to set the security alarm at night--even had to call the alarm company to ask if I did it right. You get the point.

In my zeal to thrive in my newly found state, God must have wanted to show me the cosmic humor in this situation.  My first time running by myself since my single glory days?  My dog refused to run after 40 paces, got completely muddy and tracked it into my car, and thereby added another to-do list item.  Burglar alarm went off during my workday and the local sheriff had to meet me at home to make sure there were no intruders--alarm is new as is the motion detector ADT insisted I needed. 

Another thing I fnd myself having to relearn?  How to be in social situations as a party of one. It sounds retarded to a point but you never realize how much you can become a half person in the midst of a relationship. Happy and safe, but only half a unit.  I recently flaked on a social engagement outside my house yesterday because of some unexplainable fear.  I have promised myself that I am going to go to the bday dinner I was invited to tonight.  Frenemies be damned...I will still go. 

So it begins, the newly new moi.  Updates to come shortly.

FYI- Every post will end with a nod to my current food crave.  Today? Pho

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